grief and loss therapy

Grief Counseling Seattle

What Is Grief & Loss?

Grief and loss looks and feels different for everyone. Most commonly, people associate grief and loss to mourning the death of a loved one. However, we can experience feelings of grief and loss when a beloved pet dies, lose a job, break up with a partner, serious illness of a loved one, graduate from school, relocate, make a big life transition, or lose contact with a close friend.

What are Symptoms Of Grief?

Common symptoms of grief are sorrow, emptiness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, low motivation, sleep disruption, changes in eating and appetite, withdrawal and isolation, guilt, and loneliness. Grief can also manifest in somatic/physical symptoms like lower back pain, headaches, changes in appetite, and low energy.

What Is Complicated Grief?

Typically, the pain of grief eases as it gets integrated into your life in a new way. However, feelings of loss can be debilitating and if they do not improve after time passes this can lead to Complicated Grief, in which feelings of grief become severe and make it difficult to recover and continue with your life. If you find yourself struggling with feelings of grief after a year, you may be experiencing Complicated Grief. 

What Are Common Treatments For Grief & Loss?

Some commonly used treatments to address grief and loss are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Exposure Therapy, Attachment work, Somatic Experiencing, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Narrative Therapy, and Mindfulness Based Therapy. Overall, there is no one size fits all form of treatment for therapy. In grief counseling, your provider will walk with you to meet you where you are to explore what forms of treatment best meets your needs. 

There is no timeline for grief, because grief is love and love does not die. Healing can look like building a community of support, continuing connections with the deceased, creating rituals and practices to remember the deceased, recognizing that grief is something we experience not who we are, and or creating new self-care practices like letter writing, journaling, and a memory box/memory book. If you find yourself struggling to cope with grief, it may be time to seek out additional support from a grief counseling specialist in Seattle.

What To Expect In Grief Counseling Seattle:

Grief counseling begins just like any other form of therapy, with creating a safe space for you to process your thoughts and feelings without judgement. A grief counselor can help you better understand how you experience grief, create a safe place to talk about the loss (i.e. talking about the deceased person, recalling memories, continuing their bonds), recognizing any cultural beliefs and value that shape your worldview around death and dying, provide a space to explore ways to process and cope with your feelings and emotions, and learn to listen to yourself and your needs.  

The Kubler-Ross Model For Grief:

The Kubler-Ross Model For Grief was developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in classic her book, “On Death And Dying,” that characterizes these five aspects of grief:

  1. Denial: The first reaction is denial. In this stage, individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.

  2. Anger: When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”; “Why would this happen?”.

  3. Bargaining:The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. For instance: “I’d give anything to have him back.” Or: “If you take this diagnosis away, I promise to be a better person!”

  4. Depression: “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon, so what’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?” During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.

  5. Acceptance: It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it; I may as well prepare for it.” In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

Continuing Bonds Theory of Grief:

The Continuing Bonds Theory of Grief states that a person who has experienced a loss continues to carry a relationship with the deceased. This grief model explores how grief never really ends, but instead states how individuals can integrate their loss in their life and continue the bond they have with the deceased.

The Dual Process Model of Grief:

The Dual Process Model of Grief derives from the belief that a bereaved individual can go between accepting and experiencing a loss to avoiding the suffering from the loss. This theory approaches the grieving process by identifying coping mechanisms that moderate and regulate the amount of suffering a person can withstand.

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