What to Do When You Feel Judged by Your Therapist

Mental Health TipsMental Health TreatmentRelationshipsTraumaAnxiety

Oct 7

I want to start by saying, feeling judged by your therapist is tough. It's like bringing your vulnerable self to a place you hope is safe, only to feel like you're being sized up. That stings, and it's okay to acknowledge that pain. You're not alone in this.

Let's chat about therapists and judgment for a moment….

Therapists aren't perfect beings with an all-seeing eye into your soul. We're humans too, bound by professional ethics and boundaries. Our role is to support and guide, not to pass judgment. But, let's be real, it happens, and it's painful.

So, why might it feel like your therapist is judging you?

First off, therapists have to navigate a fine line of being empathetic and maintaining professional boundaries. Sometimes, it's tough to strike that balance, and misunderstandings can occur. It's crucial to remember that therapists are trained to be impartial, providing a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

Now, let's talk about red flags—signs that your therapist might be crossing the line…

If your therapist is sharing too much about their own life, making the session more about them than you, or showering you with unsolicited opinions, those are warning signs.

Your therapy space is sacred—it's about you, not the therapist's stories or judgments.

So, what can you do when you are feeling judged in the therapy room?

Speak up! Starting a conversation about feeling judged is never easy, but it's a crucial step in reclaiming the therapeutic space. Begin by acknowledging your emotions and expressing them to your therapist. You might say something like, "I've been feeling judged in our sessions, and it's impacting my ability to open up. Can we talk about this?" A skilled therapist will welcome this honesty, recognizing that therapy is a shared journey, and your voice matters. This dialogue can lead to a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives, fostering a more authentic and trusting relationship.
Trust Your Gut: Intuition is a powerful compass, guiding us through the complexities of life. In therapy, your instincts play a vital role in determining the effectiveness of the therapeutic relationship. If something feels off, take a moment to explore those feelings. Ask yourself questions like, "Do I feel heard and understood?" or "Is there a sense of mutual respect in our sessions?" If your instincts are signaling a disconnect, it might be worth considering whether the therapist-client dynamic is the right fit for your unique needs.
Explore Your Options: Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and finding the right therapist is akin to discovering a kindred spirit on your journey to self-discovery. If you find that the current therapeutic relationship is hindering rather than fostering your growth, it's perfectly okay to explore new possibilities. Take the time to research potential therapists, read reviews, and even schedule introductory sessions. Finding someone who aligns with your values and understands your narrative can rejuvenate your therapeutic experience.
Establish Clear Boundaries: Boundaries are the backbone of any healthy relationship, including the therapeutic one. If you're feeling judged, it may be helpful to reevaluate and establish clear boundaries with your therapist. Communicate openly about your comfort levels, the topics you're willing to explore, and any concerns you may have about the therapeutic process. This collaborative effort ensures that the therapeutic space remains a haven for self-exploration and growth.
Self-Reflection: Sometimes, our perceptions can cloud the therapeutic space, leading to a sense of judgment that might not align with the therapist's intentions. Take a moment for self-reflection—ask yourself whether the perceived judgment is rooted in reality or colored by past experiences. If needed, bring this reflection into your therapy sessions. A dialogue around these perceptions can shed light on any miscommunications, fostering a deeper understanding between you and your therapist.

Navigating the complexities of feeling judged in therapy requires courage, introspection, and a willingness to engage in open communication. Remember, therapy is a dynamic and evolving process, and your active participation is key to its success. By addressing these concerns head-on, you're not only advocating for your well-being, but also contributing to the growth of the therapeutic relationship.