How Yoga Therapy Can Help You Get Over a Toxic Relationship
Yoga therapy and somatic practices are a powerful way to heal from a toxic relationship. Whether you are thinking about leaving a toxic relationship or you’ve already ended the relationship and are on your healing journey, yoga therapy is an excellent tool to support you along the way. Yoga therapy gives you the skills to move through heavy emotions, let go of the past, break a trauma bond, and move forward to live the life of your dreams.
In this article, we will explore how to identify a toxic relationship, break co-dependency and trauma bonding, and the impacts of a toxic relationship on your mental and physical health. Finally, we will end with some actionable steps to cope with a toxic relationship, set boundaries, and go ‘no contact.’
Toxic Relationships & The Cycle of Abuse:
Going through a toxic relationship can be an incredibly challenging situation. Often, many people don’t realize they are in a toxic relationship until quite far into the process or even years after the fact. One of the first steps to healing from a toxic relationship is learning how to identify the red flags of toxic relationships and the components of the cycle of abuse.
6 Signs You May Be in a Toxic Relationship:
Your partner frequently criticizes you or puts you down.
There is a lack of trust in the relationship – your partner may be overly possessive or jealous.
Your partner uses emotionally manipulative tactics, like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or playing mind games.
Your partner isolates you from your friends, family, and other support systems.
Your partner engages in unhealthy communication through yelling, name-calling, or stonewalling (the silent treatment).
You feel drained, unhappy, and exhausted when you spend time with your partner.
In the cycle of abuse, there are often periods where things feel great when you’re in the “honeymoon” zone. But even those good times are part of the cycle of abuse, keeping you stuck during the big fights and challenging moments. Although those happy times can feel good, they are still part of the manipulation tactics that keep you in a trauma bond, making it harder and harder to leave.
Toxic relationships can be incredibly complex, and it is often challenging to identify the subtle signs of emotional abuse. Physical violence and abuse are never acceptable in a relationship. If you or someone you know is harmed by their partner, don’t hesitate to ask for support.
Co-Dependency & Trauma Bonding in Toxic Relationships:
In a toxic relationship, both co-dependency and trauma bonding are often the key factors that keep people stuck in this cycle, despite how unhappy they may feel. One of the biggest questions that survivors of toxic relationships usually ask themselves is, “Why did I stay for so long?” It is important not to shame yourself for staying in a toxic relationship, and one way of addressing this is by understanding the underlying reasons that people often remain in toxic relationships.
Co-dependency is a common behavioral pattern in which one partner seeks approval and validation to an excess level from their other partner to boost their sense of self-worth. This tendency often comes from unresolved emotional issues or past trauma and can lead people to tolerate mistreatment, place their partner’s needs above their own, and struggle with setting boundaries.
Trauma bonding occurs through the cycle of abuse itself in which the patterns of abuse create a powerful bond between two individuals. The constant switch between love and cruelty, affection and criticism, can keep you seeking validation even amid immense mistreatment. Many survivors of toxic relationships refer to their partners as “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” referring to the common tendency of abusive individuals to engage in these manipulative tactics.
Toxic Versus Healthy Relationships:
Understanding the patterns of toxic relationships and red flags in relationships is crucial to learning how to break these bonds and move forward into healthy love. Since we have already covered many of the components of toxic relationships, it is also essential to know the difference between toxic and healthy love. So, what are the signs of a healthy relationship?
6 Signs of a Healthy Relationship:
Your partner communicates effectively through open, honest, and respectful communication.
The relationship is mutually respectful, and both partners' needs, boundaries, and opinions are valued.
Trust and honesty are the foundation of the relationship in which both partners can share their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities and be met with understanding and support.
The relationship is built on equality and balance through shared responsibilities, decision-making, and emotional support.
When conflicts arise, they are resolved healthily through calm conversations rooted in empathy, patience, and a willingness to compromise.
You share values, goals, and a vision for the future, providing mutual support to each other’s dreams.
Remember, no relationship is perfect, and some conflict is normal. However, the critical difference between a healthy and toxic relationship is the construction of power and control dynamics versus equality and respect. A healthy relationship allows both partners to feel heard, respected, valued, and supported – not just for one partner to receive preferential treatment.
Effects of a Toxic Relationship on Your Mental Health:
Toxic relationships can be incredibly damaging to your mental health, resulting in long-lasting impacts on your self-esteem and confidence. At an extreme level, some survivors of toxic relationships can struggle with posttraumatic stress disorder and difficulty entering future relationships.
How Do Toxic Relationships Impact Your Mental Health:
Increased anxiety and fear
Depression, worthlessness, and hopelessness
Low self-esteem and poor self-confidence
Guilt, shame, and self-blame
Isolation from friends, family, and others
Avoidance of future relationships
Difficulty trusting others
In addition to the mental health impacts, toxic relationships can also have a significant effect on your physical wellbeing. Many trauma experts believe that “the body keeps the score” and that the lingering impacts of stress can remain held in your tissues without proper therapy and healing.
How Do Toxic Relationships Impact Your Physical Health:
High cortisol levels
Weakened immune system
Increased blood pressure
Digestive issues & Gastrointestinal Disorders
Headaches
Sleep disturbances & fatigue
Changes in appetite and eating habits
Muscle tension & chronic pain conditions
Frequent flu and infections
Autoimmune disorders
How to Cope with a Toxic Relationship Using Yoga Therapy:
Mindfulness, Compassion, and Self-Awareness: During a toxic relationship, it is common for people to feel cut off from their bodies or numb to their feelings. Through mindfulness, self-awareness, and compassion practices, you can begin to safely enter your body, feel your emotions, and find inner clarity. Navigating the confusion of a toxic relationship can be incredibly challenging, and mindfulness practices are an excellent way to clear your mind and make conscious decisions on how to move forward.
Setting Boundaries: Setting boundaries is an important skill to learn whether you are in a toxic relationship or not. Yoga therapy approaches boundaries through the lens of ahimsa (non-violence) and satya (truthfulness). Finding the balance between non-violence and truth takes skill, and applying these principles can help you set healthy boundaries to protect your peace and speak your truth. In yoga therapy, we can explore this deeper through embodied somatic practices that help you navigate the discomfort of setting boundaries and learn how to access your inner voice.
Stress Reduction Tools: Toxic relationships are undoubtedly incredibly stressful and exhausting. Yoga therapy can support you in your recovery through gentle yoga poses (asana), breathwork (pranayama), meditation, and deep relaxation (yoga nidra). By cultivating a daily personal yoga therapy practice, you can begin to unwind the impacts of stress on your body and mind and access remarkable healing from within.
Cultivating Resilience and Distress Tolerance: One of the cornerstones of healing from a toxic relationship is building distress tolerance and resiliency. Yoga therapy teaches us how to find steadiness (sthira) and ease (sukha) simultaneously. Finding the edge between effort and relaxation helps you widen your window of tolerance and increase your ability to deal with challenging conversations and complex relationship dynamics. Learning these skills can help you strengthen your ability to withstand a range of stressors and bounce back from your experiences without bypassing your emotions.
Building a Support Network: Toxic relationships are often incredibly isolating, so having a support network in any form is crucial to breaking this cycle. By participating in trauma-informed yoga with a qualified yoga therapist, you can access an avenue of support and connect with others on your healing journey. You are not alone in this process, and the more people you have in your corner, the more resources you will have to navigate these difficult situations.
Setting Boundaries & Going “No Contact” in a Toxic Relationship:
One of the first questions people in toxic relationships face when they realize the nature of their relationship is what to do next. Leaving a toxic relationship can be incredibly challenging. Some experts consider toxic relationships to have an addictive quality, and the process of leaving may even feel like withdrawal to some degree.
Learning how to set healthy boundaries is crucial in navigating toxic relationships. Sometimes, boundaries with abusive individuals can put you at increased risk. In those cases, going “no contact” may actually be the safest option. It is vital to work with a professional to help you identify the safest way to navigate a toxic relationship and to leave the relationship if you desire. Taking the time to work through a safety plan with a professional and consciously think of your next steps is an excellent tool to support you in this challenging process.
Heal from a Toxic Relationship with Yoga Therapy in Seattle:
Toxic relationships have a long-lasting impact on your mental and physical health, even after having left the relationship. Your nervous system can often remain in “fight or flight” mode, leading to ongoing physical health issues, exhaustion, chronic muscle tension, and lingering anxiety.
Yoga therapy and somatic practices are an excellent way to unravel the effects of a toxic relationship on your mental and physical health. Healing from a toxic relationship takes time, but with professional support, you can find freedom, become empowered through self-love and self-confidence, and discover what it feels like to experience healthy love.
If you are interested in additional support to break out of a toxic relationship or are healing from a past toxic relationship, then reach out to our team at Satya Wellness Collective for private yoga therapy online and in person located in Seattle, Washington.
- Written by Isabella Koepf, Yoga Therapist
